I Built a Blockchain for My Cat

After months of work, I am proud to announce CatChain: a fully decentralized, immutable ledger of every time my cat has knocked something off a table. Each incident is a block. The blocks are linked by cryptographic hashes and also, spiritually, by my mounting despair.

Consensus is achieved through Proof of Loaf: a node is only trusted if it can produce a photograph of the cat sitting in a perfect loaf shape, which independent observers agree is computationally hard to fake. The network currently has one node. It is the cat. She is not aware she is the network.

Mainnet launch is blocked because the cat refuses to sign transactions, and frankly so would I. Throughput is two knocked-over glasses per evening, finality is whenever she gets bored, and the whole thing consumes more energy than I do. In other words, it is a completely faithful blockchain implementation. Roadmap: a token nobody asked for.